My Website is Just an Extension of My Reclusive Life
Hello, I'm incompetent.
I'll share a story that goes nowhere.
My website is nothing but a space for my own self-indulgence, so it feels like I'm holed up in my own room.
And since I'm hosting it from my home server, it feels like I have a small room inside my computer.
Does that mean I haven't changed since my reclusive past? The answer is both yes and no, in part.
At the very least, the happiness of living a life where I interact with the outside world and properly bask in the morning sun is a happiness that money cannot buy. I've been deeply feeling lately that "boredom is better." Drinking coffee in the morning and soaking in the sunlight is a good thing. (Though, perhaps because I'm a masochist, I force myself to create things to do, and before I know it, there's no time for boredom (´・ω・｀))
The happiness of boredom might be similar to Jim Jarmusch's "Coffee & Cigarettes" or "Stranger Than Paradise."
It's not that I particularly want to drink expensive coffee.
Just like in "The UNIX Philosophy," where it said "80% (or was it 90%?) of software or code is mostly garbage," even if life mostly lacks value, if there's that remaining 10-20% that is valuable, isn't that alone enough to make life worth living?
My dream is to live a relaxed life, but I always find myself doing something. Can't I do something about this personality? I'm always putting off what I really need to do...
I wish I could find joy in everyday life, like in the poems from William Blake's "Songs of Innocence and of Experience," but I'm greedy, so it's quite difficult. I have so many books I bought cheaply in high school, but I always end up abandoning them halfway through or letting them pile up unread.
I want to collect so many things that I couldn't possibly enjoy them all even if I stayed reclusive until I die, but moving always feels like hell, so I've recently realized I need to reconsider that point. Still, most books and records don't sell for high prices, and they need careful handling, so shipping is a hassle.
Sometimes I worry if my website is gradually becoming the kind of site I used to enjoy looking at, but it's just a poorly written piece by an incompetent person. Reading this is just a waste of time.
My hobby is to make people waste their time.
GeoCities and Yahoo! Blogs are gone now, and before I knew it, Naver Matome, which used to dominate search engine rankings, had also disappeared. It's sad because many of the DIY PC blogs I used to read in elementary and middle school were on Yahoo! Blogs.
By the way, it seems there's something called the "Ugoku Memocho Archive."
https://archive.sudomemo.net/ja/